“Welcome to the karma cafe. You will be served what you deserve.” 

It’s a sad day when a yogi, or any human, steals from another yogi (insert ‘or any human’ again) once, let alone repeatedly and/or for a long period of time. It’s self-explanatory that stealing is wrong, violating and deceptive yet people continue to think themselves above the law, and mankind really, as they ruin other people’s happiness because they can’t find their own. That’s really what it comes down to if you want to be frank. In the practice of yoga we have our own set of moral guidelines called Yamas, and the fourth branch is dedicated to non-stealing called Asteya.

 Asteya is the desire to possess and enjoy what another has and drives a person to do evil things. From this desire springs the urge to steal and the urge to covet. This includes not only taking what belongs to another without permission but also using something for a different purpose to what was intended, or beyond the time permitted by the owner.

When I was 12 years old or so my family’s home on Major Potter Road in Warwick, Rhode Island was robbed in the middle of the day while my parents were at work, I was at tennis camp and my brother Andrew was at daycare. Talk about feeling violated. The robber (the police later arrested our neighbor for the crime) wiped us out. He took ALL of my Ma’s jewelry and she had some heirlooms from her great-grandma and such and her amethyst engagement ring too. I remember her telling people, “He took the silver platter on the hutch with my wooden apples on it and then he neatly replaced the apples on the hutch.” Andrew and I slept at the foot of our parent’s bed in sleeping bags for days after, falling asleep to the sound of their tiny TV in the corner.

All kidding aside, I was seriously changed after this incident. I started taking out loud to myself when I was alone after school (to deter robbers from thinking I was home alone) and I would carry a steak knife around (dull as could be, but I didn’t know at the time) while watching Anne of Green Gables over and over again because I remember it soothed and relaxed me. My parents had an alarm installed like the next day and I was compulsive about setting it as soon as I was alone and I had a special passcode (4444) if I was in danger and couldn’t use the phone. And yes, my memory is this good. Also, to this day I cannot leave the house without leaving a light on, or two (who are we kidding)  because I loathe walking into a dark house. Oh! And the minute I lived alone in my very own and first apartment in Chicago, I immediately adopted a dog! Like little kids, I too need to feel safe 24-7!

Ten years ago while I was living and teaching yoga in Chicago, there was a string of thefts in several yoga studios, one of which I taught at, the other a studio where I did my morning Mysore practice at. The incidents were all the same. In the middle of a class, some chick would tell the yoga teacher that she had her period and had to leave and then on the way out, she would go through others people bags and steal money, iPhones and iPods and in some cases, she had the gall to take a set of car keys and actually steal the car. NO JOKE.

Then there was that time that I was teaching the late class and had to lock up afterwards. I went over to the rug and cubbies where I had left my Ugg boots and jacket, only to find that my brand new shoes were gone. I realized it had to be a thief and not an accident since they hadn’t left their shoes for me. Mind you it was the middle of January. In Illinois. And it had been snowing for hours. It was freaking COLD and I had to call Andy and he had to bring me shoes and pick me up since I couldn’t walk to the bus or even call a cab since that would require walking outside in the near two foot pile of snow. Yea. Not happening.

Do you want to know what is happening though? There’s theft in the yoga studios here on the Central Coast and after inquiring around, I guess it’s not the first time this has happened. At one of the studios where I work, someone has a real clock fetish because the small (and cheap) clocks on the wall keep disappearing. It’s weird and frustrating, especially when you’re teaching and need to keep time and you’re not a fan of wearing a watch. Also, three large pieces of art were stolen right off the walls! It’s so ballsy I could hardly believe it. And at another studio I teach at, there’s a prop thief who walks out with huge bolsters (they’re like the size of a three-year-old) and cork blocks.

It’s inconceivable to me because it’s a YOGA STUDIO!!!!! Do these people realize how little studios make and how much they spend on equipment and supplies? It’s like stealing the toilet paper right off the roll. Or pocketing extra tea bags that the studio has generously provided for students. As a yogi and a human, I firmly and resolutely believe in the law and power of karma. I like what Deepak Chopra says best, “Every action generates a force of energy that returns to us in like kind . . . what we sow is what we reap. And when we choose actions that bring happiness and success to others, the fruit of our karma is happiness and success.” Point being, karma is only a bitch if you are!

And here are some of my favorite karmic quotes not by Deepak Chopra or anyone of any real significance for that matter!

“If karma doesn’t smack you I will.” 

“Dear Karma, I have a list of people you missed.” 

“Be careful how you treat people. What you do to others has a funny way of coming back to you.” 

“Karma’s a bitch but I like her!” 

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Okay, we’ve moving onto food now because I could seriously yap all day about the law of karma! I made this delicious and quick lunch today and it’s an easy peesy recipe that I think you’ll like. I really love Mexican food but I don’t eat it often because my stomach can’t handle all the cheese, beans, sour cream and chips… all in one sitting! So I wanted to make a yummy quesadilla with fresh, green and clean ingredients so I can skip out on the gas later if you know what I mean! You can use any type of tortilla or flatbread and if you’re gluten free, try these tortillas from Rudi’s… they can’t be beat!

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Spinach and Tomato Quesadilla- serves one or two 

Ingredients:

-1 large tomato or six small ones

-1 cup spinach

-herbs (I used basil and thyme)

-cheese (of your choice)

-salt and pepper

-coconut or olive oil

Directions:

1. Heat a small sauté pan with a tiny bit of coconut or olive oil.

2. Slice up the tomatoes and herbs and place on a flatbread or tortilla.

3. Then place that on the sauté pan and pile on the spinach and grate a little cheese on top. The spinach will start to wilt with the heat.

4. Place another flatbread or tortilla on top and let cook for 2 minutes on each side.

5. When both sides are brown, remove from the heat.

6. Slice and enjoy!

Fresh, fast and clean!

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Before I go, I’ll leave you with two book recommendations. If you enjoy short stories, or the hunky Raymond Carver (like me) you’ll enjoy one of his earlier works called Cathedral. All of the stories involve families whose lives and relationships look alot better on the outside then they are in actuality. And leave it to my Ma to gift me Johanna Moran’s The Wives of Henry Oades, a work of historical fiction that she had the author sign for me as a birthday present. Talk about a page turner! Imagine your family was presumed dead after a house fire and six years later you are re-married with a new family and baby on the way, when your old family (and wife!) return… as my Ma said, “I would have killed good old Henry with a big heavy skillet!”

While Andy worked all weekend long, I had a fantastic time with my friends! What a team we are! #winning